Evaluations

If you have been around Milo lately, you might have noticed, sometimes he is not always the clearest speaking kid. When he gets excited he becomes even more so, sort of like he is stumbling over his consonants in his rush to get his thoughts out. I usually have no trouble understanding him but I think I am special because I am his mother.

Once he started Pre-K his teacher confirmed what we suspected. In our September Parent/Teacher Conferences told me that she has difficulty understanding him and was concerned that it might make it more difficult for him in his learning environment as he goes forward in school. Furthermore she believed the reason he might not be as social with the other kids is that they don't always understand what he is saying. A dagger went right through my heart. Of course I want my son to flourish in school. I already know he is bright and has the most generous heart. So the thought that his speech might be hindering him in school and in finding friends. Well it was everything I could do to NOT break down during that parent-teacher conference. The next morning I was on the phone with our school district looking into testing for him.

These things don't move as fast as you want them to, so it wasn't until November that he was screened, and they found enough cause to go through a more thorough evaluation this week. When you have a child that is screened for something like hearing, speech or vision, they automatically do a psychological screening at the same time to verify that they are not behind in other areas or do not have behavioral issues as well.

I want to say that there is no more humbling moment as a Mom than sitting watching your child being tested by a psychologist and then a speech therapist. To know that you cannot offer help, guidance or support for your child. To know that this is one outcome of many I am sure in which all I can do is just sit and watch and pray for the best. Milo was fantastic, such a good sport, happily playing their games, answering their questions. And they were equally as wonderful, they made all the tests feel like games and were just very sweet in talking with him. However it was agony for me, to be sitting there, knowing what he was saying, understanding his thought process as he worked through these "problems" and yet getting the answers wrong by their standards.

My job was simply to sit and observe, I wasn't allowed to say anything, not encourage him, or help him in any way. So I did what I was supposed to. I sat there, marveling at his logic and problem solving skills. He is a puzzle solver at heart, his mind wired to work it out, he sees the shapes when working a puzzle not always the colors first. I see this as a trait that makes him special and unique. And so not to be able to share that with these "evaluators" when he selected a wrench to pair with a hammer and NOT a nail, because as he explained, you can hold a wrench just like you hold a hammer. And both go in a tool box, while his Daddy keeps the nails int their own drawer. True not the "correct" answer, but a pretty darn good one at the same time.

He also when looking at 3 images of children playing with toys and had to select a 4th picture to compliment the 3, selected the picture of 2 children walking together. Of course they were wanting him to select another picture of children playing with toys. He explained he picked the picture of the children walking because sometimes when you are walking with your friends you have just as much fun as playing with toys because you can tell each other jokes and talk about Star Wars.

I sat there mute, aching to hug him when he made these insights. Afterwards, while he went through the paces with the speech therapist, I was again interviewed by the Psychologist. She wanted to know about daily activities. She assured me that he was doing fine, and seemed to be on track for his age, advanced in some areas even. I nodded, knowing that my son is special and beautiful in his own right, and it doesn't matter what she says, or what she deems "normal" by her books. Her questions were numerous and involved. I related a story that I often think of which I believe exemplifies his personality.

When he was about 2 and a half, one day at day care a little girl, who was new to the class was crying, afraid of her new environment most likely and missing her Mom. Milo walked over to her and offered her a hug, patted her on the back, and handed her his floppy cat. He acted with such empathy, he offered her his beloved which made him feel better when he was sad, he gave her a hug to reassure and when she continued to cry he went and got a teacher to help. I think of him as the same boy at 2 1/2 as he is today. Milo has an amazing ability to love, to understand his fellow humans, to try to make it better. And what more could a Mom ask for?

He does have some very good friends by the way, friends that don't seem to mind that he rushes his words when he gets excited. Friends that dig in the sandbox with him, that share jokes and talk about Star Wars, friends that he will give a hug to if they are feeling sad. So we will get this speech thing figured out, but I no longer worry about his social skills. My Milo is doing just fine.